It is no surprise to me that many of us forget that love and life are never iinseperable and that in the routine of our life we should be loving and considerate towards all we love. The other day a really dear relative of mine called up to explain at how upset she was with her husband as he did not tell her that he had resumed smoking and that she discovered it herself! My first reaction was that listen, he is an adult who is free to do what he wants and is mature enough to know the implications of good and bad. And her nagging will only make matters worse! she was inconsolable and wanted to have it out with her hubby and make him choose her or his cigarettes! Crazy attitude. I did try to give her gyan and tell her what I do try and tell many of my friends and myself as well - Is it really about me alone??
Let me explain, so often in our lives and routines we are completely stuck and feel like the world and the buck stops with us.......In this feeling we stamp on others, ignore others and do what we think we are doing and more often than not completely miss seeing what is around! and then when we see a glimpse of something then we draw all kinds of conclusions and assume it's all about me alone and we get upset with others about things without ever thinking about others.
So stop a while, think where you are headed, who is missing you, who needs you, who's calling you and who's looking hopefully at you and life could be less complicated and peaceful for all! Amen...
Monday, July 6, 2009
Life Divine
Last weekend one of our immediate neighbours passed away - God bless her sould. She had been suffering from cancer for two years and may be the end was a blessing in disguise as it meant the end of a long terminal illness and pain..........her prayer meeting was on 1st and since then many thoughts have been buzzing in my head ( like they always do when you attend such functions).
The whole purpose of the fights and struggle that we have seems meaning less...when all of us are going to go one day then why not enjoy every moment before we go this way and leave everything behind. I was in a pensive mood with my beloved husband sitting by my side and sensing it...It was funny but I tearfully turned to tell him how much he means to me and only I know how deeply I felt it at that moment - what I did not voice was that I also was sorry for every time I misunderstood him, fought with him, hurt him and did what I wanted without any consideration.....well it was not just that I regretted equally screaming at the children which i often do over their seeming slowness when actually they are putting a sincere effort in what they do.........
Have vowed since that life needs to be lived 100 percent whatever be the circumstance and state of being and that under any circumstances i am going to remember death for all it's certainity and live everyday like it could be my last day.....
I pray to God for strength, patience and peace amidst all the chaos and hope it will be granted.
The whole purpose of the fights and struggle that we have seems meaning less...when all of us are going to go one day then why not enjoy every moment before we go this way and leave everything behind. I was in a pensive mood with my beloved husband sitting by my side and sensing it...It was funny but I tearfully turned to tell him how much he means to me and only I know how deeply I felt it at that moment - what I did not voice was that I also was sorry for every time I misunderstood him, fought with him, hurt him and did what I wanted without any consideration.....well it was not just that I regretted equally screaming at the children which i often do over their seeming slowness when actually they are putting a sincere effort in what they do.........
Have vowed since that life needs to be lived 100 percent whatever be the circumstance and state of being and that under any circumstances i am going to remember death for all it's certainity and live everyday like it could be my last day.....
I pray to God for strength, patience and peace amidst all the chaos and hope it will be granted.
Friday, December 7, 2007
Sayings of Jewish Buddha........from e mail
Sayings of the Jewish Buddha
Be here now.
Be someplace else later.
Is that so complicated?
Drink tea and nourish life;
with the first sip, joy;
with the second sip, peace;
with the third, a Danish.
Wherever you go, there you are.
Your luggage is another story.
Accept misfortune as a blessing.
Do not wish for perfect health,
or a life without problems.
What would you talk about?
The journey of a thousand miles
begins with a single Oy.
There is no escaping karma.
In a previous life,
you never called,
you never wrote,
you never visited.
And whose fault was that?
Zen is not easy.
It takes effort to attain nothingness.
And then what do you have?
Bupkis.
The Tao does not speak.
The Tao does not blame.
The Tao does not take sides.
The Tao has no expectations.
The Tao demands nothing of others.
The Tao is not Jewish.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Forget this
and attaining Enlightenment
will be the least of your problems.
Let your mind be as a floating cloud.
Let your stillness be as a wooded glen.
And sit up straight.
You'll never meet the Buddha with such rounded shoulders.
Deep inside you are ten thousand flowers.
Each flower blossoms ten thousand times.
Each blossom has ten thousand petals.
You might want to see a specialist.
Be aware of your body.
Be aware of your perceptions.
Keep in mind that not every physical sensation is a symptom of a terminal illness
The Torah says,
Love your neighbor as yourself.
The Buddha says,
There is no self.
So, maybe we are off the hook.
Be here now.
Be someplace else later.
Is that so complicated?
Drink tea and nourish life;
with the first sip, joy;
with the second sip, peace;
with the third, a Danish.
Wherever you go, there you are.
Your luggage is another story.
Accept misfortune as a blessing.
Do not wish for perfect health,
or a life without problems.
What would you talk about?
The journey of a thousand miles
begins with a single Oy.
There is no escaping karma.
In a previous life,
you never called,
you never wrote,
you never visited.
And whose fault was that?
Zen is not easy.
It takes effort to attain nothingness.
And then what do you have?
Bupkis.
The Tao does not speak.
The Tao does not blame.
The Tao does not take sides.
The Tao has no expectations.
The Tao demands nothing of others.
The Tao is not Jewish.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Forget this
and attaining Enlightenment
will be the least of your problems.
Let your mind be as a floating cloud.
Let your stillness be as a wooded glen.
And sit up straight.
You'll never meet the Buddha with such rounded shoulders.
Deep inside you are ten thousand flowers.
Each flower blossoms ten thousand times.
Each blossom has ten thousand petals.
You might want to see a specialist.
Be aware of your body.
Be aware of your perceptions.
Keep in mind that not every physical sensation is a symptom of a terminal illness
The Torah says,
Love your neighbor as yourself.
The Buddha says,
There is no self.
So, maybe we are off the hook.
Monday, November 12, 2007
The Lowly Elite of Delhi
Every time I have an encounter with the richie rich class of Delhi, I am appalled...........No no I am not jealous of their money or designer clothes and jewellery and the luxury cars but at their obvious lack of decorum and etiquette. Recently I had the pleasure of attending a special screening show of a movie with a friend, the show was especially for the elite of Delhi( read millionaires) and the first thought that came to my mind was that the regular shows I attend for the movies with the junta crowd had more decorum than this one...I guess because everyone here was rich in their own right, had come wearing the designer labels, the lobby at the theatre could masquerade for a perfume gallery ( the kind where the various fragrances could get you so lost that you just might faint if you didn’t watch it). There were accented English sounds around us that made me wonder if I was in a dream and in America.
Well, so far so good and it was amusing to look and experience. But the antics at the snack counter were disgusting. A family was fighting with the fellow behind the counter as they wanted the snack to be something other than the voucher that the sponsor had provided. When the poor fellow at the counter apologised that this could not be, they were ready to take his life as he was so stuck on the rules.............Well, standing behind them ( with my patience wearing thin), it struck me that the other snack was so affordable and if they did not want this one which was free, why won’t they just open their wallet and buy it? Strange but true, they did not want to pay and called up the people at the sponsor’s end to protest and earn their alternate snack..............to top the situation was the fact that they gave two hoots to the fact that there was a queue of people right behind them waiting their turn to get the snack.......
Now if you thought that was it, no, there was a whole pack of popcorns that had spilled on to the floor and the people just walked over the popcorn as if nothing mattered. Weren’t we all taught to respect food when we were young and especially that it was not meant to be trodden upon? Seems like these elite came from another planet. I got dirty looks when I brought this to the notice of the man behind the counter, the looks seem to suggest that I was trying to be miss goody two shoes in the elite environment and that too in my non designer clothes and the muted look. Well, I am grateful to god for my bread and have enough respect not to tread upon it atleast knowingly............
Then came the time to watch the movie and the entry door opened, and lol the sembelance of the queue suddenly broke down and there was much jostling and pushing to get it. Hello, the seats were already allotted on the tickets buddy so what’s the rush? Chalo, you were excited about the movie and wanted to get in and not miss a single bit, accepted, but trying to get in that way...phew! they would even beat the front row benchers hollow.
Then, the show begins and there are these busy people who won’t get off their mobile phones, arre bhai, itne busy ho to aaye kyon? I did manage to make some noises to shut them up ( atleast the ones around me) but the rings kept the disturbance on through out the show. There was a repeat of the jostle at the exit after the movie and I was so happy to leave the company of these so called elite of Delhi.............
I often wonder why people think that they should earn your respect because they have pots of money and fat bank accounts. To my mind respect is earned by your conduct and etiquette when dealing with others. The money ceases to matter beyond a point, I really wish that the future generation of these elite improve or else, we are all in trouble.
Well, so far so good and it was amusing to look and experience. But the antics at the snack counter were disgusting. A family was fighting with the fellow behind the counter as they wanted the snack to be something other than the voucher that the sponsor had provided. When the poor fellow at the counter apologised that this could not be, they were ready to take his life as he was so stuck on the rules.............Well, standing behind them ( with my patience wearing thin), it struck me that the other snack was so affordable and if they did not want this one which was free, why won’t they just open their wallet and buy it? Strange but true, they did not want to pay and called up the people at the sponsor’s end to protest and earn their alternate snack..............to top the situation was the fact that they gave two hoots to the fact that there was a queue of people right behind them waiting their turn to get the snack.......
Now if you thought that was it, no, there was a whole pack of popcorns that had spilled on to the floor and the people just walked over the popcorn as if nothing mattered. Weren’t we all taught to respect food when we were young and especially that it was not meant to be trodden upon? Seems like these elite came from another planet. I got dirty looks when I brought this to the notice of the man behind the counter, the looks seem to suggest that I was trying to be miss goody two shoes in the elite environment and that too in my non designer clothes and the muted look. Well, I am grateful to god for my bread and have enough respect not to tread upon it atleast knowingly............
Then came the time to watch the movie and the entry door opened, and lol the sembelance of the queue suddenly broke down and there was much jostling and pushing to get it. Hello, the seats were already allotted on the tickets buddy so what’s the rush? Chalo, you were excited about the movie and wanted to get in and not miss a single bit, accepted, but trying to get in that way...phew! they would even beat the front row benchers hollow.
Then, the show begins and there are these busy people who won’t get off their mobile phones, arre bhai, itne busy ho to aaye kyon? I did manage to make some noises to shut them up ( atleast the ones around me) but the rings kept the disturbance on through out the show. There was a repeat of the jostle at the exit after the movie and I was so happy to leave the company of these so called elite of Delhi.............
I often wonder why people think that they should earn your respect because they have pots of money and fat bank accounts. To my mind respect is earned by your conduct and etiquette when dealing with others. The money ceases to matter beyond a point, I really wish that the future generation of these elite improve or else, we are all in trouble.
Thursday, November 8, 2007
The Dark Side of Festivals
I know its the eve of Diwali and the Festival of Lights and everything should be sparkling and nice, but there is a darkness in my heart that I must admit is nagging my festive spirit and drive.
Do you know that our country has many who live with an income of below, one dollar a day.....that is less than what you might spend on cigarettes, treats, mints, parking and tips etc in a day and these people have to survive and provide for themselves with this in a day. It makes me shudder to think of how tough life must be for them, so while the haves are splurging these millions are looking for a means to survive. I wish that we think of them when in a festive mood ( read ready to spend on festivities) and try and adpt some souls.Charity begins at home, maybe we can adopt the children of the people who work in our houses and enlighten them through education so that they come out of the dollar a day existence.
The crass commercialisation of the festivals also upsets me no end. Remember the time we weighed the love of aunts in the family basis the goodies they made for us and not by the size and value of the gift pack they brought for us? Today, I see all around ( mostly) people wanting to woo the 'useful lot 'of relatives and friends through expensive gifts while the not so useful are given the hand me downs no one wants. Is that whta expressing your love is reduced to during festivals? Think about it
The other aspect of Diwali is the crackers - they are no good from the start. They employ poor minors who get to live a short life thanks to the affect the masala has on their lungs and the crammed working conditions. Would you want to revel with such crackers and participate in the dance of death? Crackers cause air pollutions that affect all of us in some way, and god help the asthamatics who feel it is better to die than live through another smoke filled diwali, but people just seem to ignore it. Anyone who has an asthamatic family memeber will or neighbour undrestand what one can go through. Then ofcourse the noise pollution and the penchant for being the last one to finish the bang......I have seen, sorry heard, the crackers bang till 3:30 am - with no regard to the people's sleep and comfort.
So please please do something about it, change the way you celebrate your festivals and think of the poor, the children and the environment for a happier tomorrow.
Do you know that our country has many who live with an income of below, one dollar a day.....that is less than what you might spend on cigarettes, treats, mints, parking and tips etc in a day and these people have to survive and provide for themselves with this in a day. It makes me shudder to think of how tough life must be for them, so while the haves are splurging these millions are looking for a means to survive. I wish that we think of them when in a festive mood ( read ready to spend on festivities) and try and adpt some souls.Charity begins at home, maybe we can adopt the children of the people who work in our houses and enlighten them through education so that they come out of the dollar a day existence.
The crass commercialisation of the festivals also upsets me no end. Remember the time we weighed the love of aunts in the family basis the goodies they made for us and not by the size and value of the gift pack they brought for us? Today, I see all around ( mostly) people wanting to woo the 'useful lot 'of relatives and friends through expensive gifts while the not so useful are given the hand me downs no one wants. Is that whta expressing your love is reduced to during festivals? Think about it
The other aspect of Diwali is the crackers - they are no good from the start. They employ poor minors who get to live a short life thanks to the affect the masala has on their lungs and the crammed working conditions. Would you want to revel with such crackers and participate in the dance of death? Crackers cause air pollutions that affect all of us in some way, and god help the asthamatics who feel it is better to die than live through another smoke filled diwali, but people just seem to ignore it. Anyone who has an asthamatic family memeber will or neighbour undrestand what one can go through. Then ofcourse the noise pollution and the penchant for being the last one to finish the bang......I have seen, sorry heard, the crackers bang till 3:30 am - with no regard to the people's sleep and comfort.
So please please do something about it, change the way you celebrate your festivals and think of the poor, the children and the environment for a happier tomorrow.
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Tell your children the story of Dhanteras
Tomorrow is the festival of Dhanteras.....my daugther was very keen to know the story why Dhanteras is celebrated, I thought we should all know so have downloaded it here.....Wishing the festival of light has lots of happiness and prosperity in store for you all...Shubh Labh and Happy Diwali.
Dhanteras marks the first day of five-days-long Diwali Festival. Dhanteras falls on the auspicious thirteenth lunar day of Krishna Paksha in the Hindu month of Kartik (October/November). In the word Dhanteras, "Dhan" stands for wealth. On Dhanteras Goddess Laxmi is worshiped to provide prosperity and well being. Hence Dhan Teras holds a lot more significance for the business community.
A very interesting story about Dhanteras Festival says that once the sixteen year old son of King Hima was doomed to die by a snake-bite on the fourth day of his marriage as per his horoscope. On that particular fourth day of his marriage his young wife did not allow him to sleep. She laid all the ornaments and lots of gold and silver coins in a big heap at the entrance of her husband's boudoir and lighted innumerable lamps all over the place. And she went on telling stories and singing songs.
When Yama, the god of Death arrived there in the guise of a Serpent his eyes got blinded by that dazzle of those brilliant lights and he could not enter the Prince's chamber. So he climbed on top of the heap of the ornaments and coins and sat there whole night listening to the melodious songs. In the morning he quietly went away. Thus the young wife saved her husband from the clutches of death. Since then this day of Dhanteras came to be known as the day of "Yamadeepdaan" and lamps are kept burning throughout the night in reverential adoration to Yam, the god of Death. .......Make sure you have the Diyas ready......
According to another popular legend, when the gods and demons churned the ocean for Amrit or nectar, Dhanavantri (the physician of the gods and an incarnation of Vishnu) emerged carrying a jar of the elixir on the day of Dhanteras. Dhanteras PreparationsTo mark the auspicious day, houses and business premises are renovated and decorated. Entrances are made colorful with lovely traditional motifs of Rangoli designs to welcome the Goddess of Wealth and Prosperity. To indicate her long-awaited arrival, small footprints are drawn with rice flour and vermilion powder all over the houses. Lamps are kept burning all through the nights.
Dhanteras marks the first day of five-days-long Diwali Festival. Dhanteras falls on the auspicious thirteenth lunar day of Krishna Paksha in the Hindu month of Kartik (October/November). In the word Dhanteras, "Dhan" stands for wealth. On Dhanteras Goddess Laxmi is worshiped to provide prosperity and well being. Hence Dhan Teras holds a lot more significance for the business community.
A very interesting story about Dhanteras Festival says that once the sixteen year old son of King Hima was doomed to die by a snake-bite on the fourth day of his marriage as per his horoscope. On that particular fourth day of his marriage his young wife did not allow him to sleep. She laid all the ornaments and lots of gold and silver coins in a big heap at the entrance of her husband's boudoir and lighted innumerable lamps all over the place. And she went on telling stories and singing songs.
When Yama, the god of Death arrived there in the guise of a Serpent his eyes got blinded by that dazzle of those brilliant lights and he could not enter the Prince's chamber. So he climbed on top of the heap of the ornaments and coins and sat there whole night listening to the melodious songs. In the morning he quietly went away. Thus the young wife saved her husband from the clutches of death. Since then this day of Dhanteras came to be known as the day of "Yamadeepdaan" and lamps are kept burning throughout the night in reverential adoration to Yam, the god of Death. .......Make sure you have the Diyas ready......
According to another popular legend, when the gods and demons churned the ocean for Amrit or nectar, Dhanavantri (the physician of the gods and an incarnation of Vishnu) emerged carrying a jar of the elixir on the day of Dhanteras. Dhanteras PreparationsTo mark the auspicious day, houses and business premises are renovated and decorated. Entrances are made colorful with lovely traditional motifs of Rangoli designs to welcome the Goddess of Wealth and Prosperity. To indicate her long-awaited arrival, small footprints are drawn with rice flour and vermilion powder all over the houses. Lamps are kept burning all through the nights.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
How much is enough?
This has been on my mind for many days now.....and no I am not talking about money but about pushing the children to realise our dreams and live up to our expectations. How much should we push our children to come first and be tops in everything that they do.
The thought comes in my head specially when I see moms and kids together at a place where there are many other children, like at the hobby classes, parks, the lavish birthday parties that have become the norm for all kids to have. I see the moms more upset than the children if the child does not win, the child may still be laughing and enjoying the fact that atleast he had a good time and participated in the event whether at school, hobby competition or at birthday party games. Isn't that the spirit of sportsmanship and why can't we teach them that? And the childhood days and the fun, what about that? do we have a right as parents to deny them the innocent years with the stress of competing for 'more'?
I think about it so much as I am not one of those pushy moms.......I am a happy go lucky working moms, where a discipline for attending the hobby class is important but not a matter of life and death if missed. I am not the kind who sweeps through the children's notebooks to ask the teacher why the child got half a mark less or why were marks deducted ( sometimes I am pleasantly surprised at what my children have achieved when I see their work at PTMs...Ouch) - I do not network with the hobby teacher to push my child in the competitions coming up. I do network to wish them on festivals and teacher's day as i feel it is my duty, given that they give so much joy to my kids.
So why am I thinking so much about it? Let me give you a few examples.......
I know of a mother who was very keen that her daughter participate in sports events and has finally achieved that with pushing her for two whole years of this and that. recently, my daughter said that the girl was very upset that her mom was upsetthat she wasn't chosen to participate in a competition as hr coach felt her performance was not good enough...and lol three days later the mom had managed that as well. How? search me.....Would it really have been such a disaster if her daughter did not go? Couldn't she have gone when she was ready and qualified on her own?
Another mother I know pushes her child socially...." go play football now and why don't you do so with so and so ( the reason being that the people she is pushing the child to are richie rich with the state of the art latest gizmos that money can buy and the children are swankily dressed..) So what are we teaching the child that anyone who has no money or is not flashy is not worth it? I had the same mother look me up and down with astonishment when I described some London streets and places to, when she was off on her first London trip. Well, the reason for her astonishment was simple......"I amjust a old fashioned girl, with a old fashioned wardrobe( yes my power dressing is still Indian clothes) and my car is a small one, while the mother in question is ready to outgrow her Esteem ( the car that is ...ha ha) . And I had been to London many times so as to describe the sights and roads...........
Another mother.......her son had to race against other students at the Taekwondo class ( races are a part of warm ups before the sparring) and he could not come second..so while most of us were happily sitting and destressing or walking she would sit watching the class and egging her son on...and lord help the son if he came second.
Another one thought that the child had to participate in ALL competitions happening at school as it builds the competitive spirit in them, Good, I said must encourage my daughter to do the same. The funny thing was that to build the spirit of competition in the children for this mother meant that the children had to be in the top three selections.......Oh , and here I always counsel my children to study hard, gain knowledge and not worry about marks or coming first in class.
So I wonder - are my children loosing out as I am not pushing them, could they have gone places with their talent and work if I had thought about all that. Am I the odd one out who is not doing so and disadvantaging my children in getting the most out of life? Are my children not going to find their 30 seconds of fame in talent shows and competitions. Will they have to wait for their glory when they fly on their own? What should I do? Push them? But comes back to my question at the beginning - how much is enough? Does any one have an answer? Do tell me.........
The thought comes in my head specially when I see moms and kids together at a place where there are many other children, like at the hobby classes, parks, the lavish birthday parties that have become the norm for all kids to have. I see the moms more upset than the children if the child does not win, the child may still be laughing and enjoying the fact that atleast he had a good time and participated in the event whether at school, hobby competition or at birthday party games. Isn't that the spirit of sportsmanship and why can't we teach them that? And the childhood days and the fun, what about that? do we have a right as parents to deny them the innocent years with the stress of competing for 'more'?
I think about it so much as I am not one of those pushy moms.......I am a happy go lucky working moms, where a discipline for attending the hobby class is important but not a matter of life and death if missed. I am not the kind who sweeps through the children's notebooks to ask the teacher why the child got half a mark less or why were marks deducted ( sometimes I am pleasantly surprised at what my children have achieved when I see their work at PTMs...Ouch) - I do not network with the hobby teacher to push my child in the competitions coming up. I do network to wish them on festivals and teacher's day as i feel it is my duty, given that they give so much joy to my kids.
So why am I thinking so much about it? Let me give you a few examples.......
I know of a mother who was very keen that her daughter participate in sports events and has finally achieved that with pushing her for two whole years of this and that. recently, my daughter said that the girl was very upset that her mom was upsetthat she wasn't chosen to participate in a competition as hr coach felt her performance was not good enough...and lol three days later the mom had managed that as well. How? search me.....Would it really have been such a disaster if her daughter did not go? Couldn't she have gone when she was ready and qualified on her own?
Another mother I know pushes her child socially...." go play football now and why don't you do so with so and so ( the reason being that the people she is pushing the child to are richie rich with the state of the art latest gizmos that money can buy and the children are swankily dressed..) So what are we teaching the child that anyone who has no money or is not flashy is not worth it? I had the same mother look me up and down with astonishment when I described some London streets and places to, when she was off on her first London trip. Well, the reason for her astonishment was simple......"I amjust a old fashioned girl, with a old fashioned wardrobe( yes my power dressing is still Indian clothes) and my car is a small one, while the mother in question is ready to outgrow her Esteem ( the car that is ...ha ha) . And I had been to London many times so as to describe the sights and roads...........
Another mother.......her son had to race against other students at the Taekwondo class ( races are a part of warm ups before the sparring) and he could not come second..so while most of us were happily sitting and destressing or walking she would sit watching the class and egging her son on...and lord help the son if he came second.
Another one thought that the child had to participate in ALL competitions happening at school as it builds the competitive spirit in them, Good, I said must encourage my daughter to do the same. The funny thing was that to build the spirit of competition in the children for this mother meant that the children had to be in the top three selections.......Oh , and here I always counsel my children to study hard, gain knowledge and not worry about marks or coming first in class.
So I wonder - are my children loosing out as I am not pushing them, could they have gone places with their talent and work if I had thought about all that. Am I the odd one out who is not doing so and disadvantaging my children in getting the most out of life? Are my children not going to find their 30 seconds of fame in talent shows and competitions. Will they have to wait for their glory when they fly on their own? What should I do? Push them? But comes back to my question at the beginning - how much is enough? Does any one have an answer? Do tell me.........
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