Last weekend one of our immediate neighbours passed away - God bless her sould. She had been suffering from cancer for two years and may be the end was a blessing in disguise as it meant the end of a long terminal illness and pain..........her prayer meeting was on 1st and since then many thoughts have been buzzing in my head ( like they always do when you attend such functions).
The whole purpose of the fights and struggle that we have seems meaning less...when all of us are going to go one day then why not enjoy every moment before we go this way and leave everything behind. I was in a pensive mood with my beloved husband sitting by my side and sensing it...It was funny but I tearfully turned to tell him how much he means to me and only I know how deeply I felt it at that moment - what I did not voice was that I also was sorry for every time I misunderstood him, fought with him, hurt him and did what I wanted without any consideration.....well it was not just that I regretted equally screaming at the children which i often do over their seeming slowness when actually they are putting a sincere effort in what they do.........
Have vowed since that life needs to be lived 100 percent whatever be the circumstance and state of being and that under any circumstances i am going to remember death for all it's certainity and live everyday like it could be my last day.....
I pray to God for strength, patience and peace amidst all the chaos and hope it will be granted.
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