Being a Mother This is a truth in my life that is larger than life itself..........you see, I am Mama not only for my two children but I have an extended family of bacchas where I teach and where I work and where I worked and bacchas who have worked with me. Amazing na, but I cannot put a number to it. but one thing is sure, i have learnt so much and am an absolute believer in past life and Karma more so than before.Let me explain - It is often said that what you do in this birth shall be returned to you in this birth itself, Do good and you are bound to find that coming back to you in this life many times over and vice versa. I was a half believer and behaved as I wanted with my mother, poor thing she was always at the recieving end of my tantrums and ways. My answer to her simple and well meaning questions would be vague answers that left her exasperated...If she asked What time I would be back from wherever I was going, i would always answer well I will be back home only mama and where else would i go? I now know what she felt as my son is a natural at this...I hate it when my kids fuss over food, not listen to me and take me for granted. Didn't I do that to Mum when I was younger?What got me thinking about this was the phone call from mamaji when my son was born - 'Now you know what pains your mum took to get you into the world'? Well even though that was 16 years ago, I think about it a lot. I also love my mother more now as I undrestand her better and why she was as she was.....well she hasn't changed ( I still get scolded for coming late or not keeping in touch, or not being organised) but i do not react as i would have many years ago. I understand completely where she is coming from. I often see her smile when I am trying to conclude an argument with the children on some issue and I feel that she knows exactly how i am feeling...................It is really a wonderful feeling being a mother end of the day, I have also learnt that there is no perfect solution and no set way when dealing with children and the only thing that helps is patience.........(I keep praying for it and god is generous) though sometimes I don't seem to find where it is.God must have given me the extended family to spread this message of love and adopt and be adopted by the many souls. My extended family too leans on my broad shoulders and expects the ocassional hugs and awaits some whipping too......but what keeps me going is the love that is showered on me by one and all. Here's wishing a god bless to all of us and may we be together for many years to come.
Labels: I got emotional
by Supermom
3:12:00 AM
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2 comments:
"Patience is a virtue" - they say - But I think sometimes it is best to be unvirtuous (or non -virtuous or whatever).
I talk by personal experience in which a person is looked at as being stupid bcos one does not respond to the various comments made in bad blood. - & are patient enuff to overlook them.
A lot of times patience is misunderstood as being submissive -giving the other person room for being over aggressive & then a whole cycle starts wherein an aggressive person thinks that they are superior since they "won the battle".
Sadly it took me all of 30yrs in life to realise that while I was going thru life being patient the people around me kept thinking that i was too submissive.
But since this article is about “Being a mother” I would definitely say that it is always a package cos one is ever a stand alone mother - always a wife, a daughter-in-law , a daughter, a sister, sis-in law etc etc etc. all rolled into one. & so patience is required in ALL these relationships – but like I said in the beginning – Is the importance of being Patient really understood by most of us? Or are we all too Caught up in the clichéd rat race?
Dear Sona,
You are feeling very hurt by somebody's comment and how! What you are talking about is not patience but tolerance - tolerating other people's behaviours and attitudes...You know better than tolerating the aggression is to kill it completely. One very simple way is to step back..every time you feel agitated or feel that someone is being over aggressive, step back and don't retaliate as the other side expects you to, the aggression finding no response from you is useless and the other will realise their mistake. But how many times do we step back? We are ready to retaliate immediately which does not help the situation.
Also, like I said in one of the posts all disappointments are as we expect too much out of everyone and everything, including ourselves and when it doesn't materialise, we are angry and agitated. We should also try and control that.As the first step we should think of both sides of the coin where expectation is concerned, good if it happens, not so bad if it doesn't, there always another way....
And the most difficult to ubderstand implement is the fact that the attitude we find in people is a mere reflection of our attitude towards them, try it, you will be surprised....And the only way to achieve harmony is to change our attitude and behaviour. There is a very famous saying of Mahatama gandhi- "Be the change you want the world to be". Think about it - Its worth implementing...
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